Get ready for your virtual half life

Gabe Newell, the happy Santa of the gaming world, has gifted an early Christmas present to gaming fans the world over by (finally) announcing a new Half Life game!

Gamers had been left wondering if Half Life 3 would ever emerge from the dark depths of forgotten hopes and dreams long discarded by the perenially distracted Valve, but quite out of the blue it was announced that Gabe had finally finished his marathon mission to eat a quarter of million burgers and is now ready to begin work on the epic new title.

The mouth-watering news was announced on Valve’s twitter feed:

Half Life: Alyx as it will be known (so NOT an actual Half Life 3 then??) will be coming to a VR headset near you. A wonderous virtual world in which our burger chomping friend is as as grotesquely svelt as Posh Spice when the original Half Life was released in 1998.

Oh the marvels of technology.

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The News Team (TNT) is a group of our finest short-sighted gaming geeks, determined to bring the latest injustices and amusing asides to your attention. Armed with their trusty 486, a 28k modem and a whole lot of time (and E45 cream) on their hands, they won't rest until their irritated and dismissive voices are heard!