Xbox names still sound dumb as f**k

Loose-tongued game director says what everyone is still thinking.

You may not have heard of Josef Fares (pictured); he’s a Swedish-born film director and game’s designer (thanks, Wikipedia) who created the excellent co-op game A Way Out, back in 2018.

His newest project, It Takes Two, is a platformer about a married couple with relationship problems (I mean, why not? There aren’t many games like that).

In an interview with IGN, it was his comments about Microsoft’s consoles, not the game, that caught everyone’s attention.

In response to a question as to whether the game could have been more ambitious had it been developed with next-gen consoles in mind, Fares responded: “…to be honest with you, they came in so late in our production–of course, it’s going to look better on PS5 and Xbox Series X, but we didn’t really have the time to adjust them and make the PS5 version special or the Xbox blah blah…whatever they call the Xbox Series…”

So far then, nothing the PR department would be too concerned with. However, this is what he said next:

“That’s a fucking confusing name. What the fuck’s going on with Microsoft? They’re losing it, man. What the fuck is going on? Like Series S, X, Mex, Next. I mean, who knows this? Come on. Madness. Call it the Microsoft Box and that’s it. I don’t know. It’s a total fucking mess. Trust me, even them, they’re confused in their offices. What is this X, S…I don’t know, what the fuck.”

We can’t help but agree

Not only is it refreshing to hear a developer speak so honestly, it’s also right on the money.

Ever since we heard the Xbox Series S|X naming scheme the gaming world has been groaning with irritated disapproval. S and X sound so similar and, for those with a lisp, it must be a fucking nightmare.

And as the previous generation Xbox One used S and X as denominators, it must be all the more confusing to the less discerning consumer. Imagine the disappointment on little Tommy’s face, when, come Christmas morning, he unwrapped his not so next-gen Xbox One X – a smug-faced father looking on, wondering what all the ‘out of stock everywhere’ fuss was about.

Perhaps this all goes back to what should have been the Xbox 2 getting the name 360. We’d all agree, a good name, as it symbolised a fresh start, but hardly useful when it came to the systems inevitable follow-ups.

Even Xbox head Phil Spencer agrees it’s all a bit confusing, as he said to Kotaku: “On the pronunciation capability of S and X, I kind of agree they’re not the easiest words to enunciate or letters to enunciate completely, but I think it’ll be pretty obvious when someone goes into the store…”

If it were up to us, we’d go back to basics. Your vanilla, cheapest machine? That’s an Xbox. The top-of-the-range pixel-crushing resolution monster? That’d be an Xbox Pro. And if you want to know which version you’ve got, identify it by the release year, as Apple do with their iPads. It’s that simple.

Just remember folks, if it ever happens, you read it here first. We’re not holding our breaths though.

The News Team
The News Team
The News Team (TNT) is a group of our finest short-sighted gaming geeks, determined to bring the latest injustices and amusing asides to your attention. Armed with their trusty 486, a 28k modem and a whole lot of time (and E45 cream) on their hands, they won't rest until their irritated and dismissive voices are heard!
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