Video Game Anxiety: Tips for Playing Online if You’re Anxious

It’s probably not too controversial of a statement to say that, generally speaking, people play video games for the purpose of enjoyment.

They enjoy playing games to revel in the emotional story that many of them portray so eloquently, to challenge the limits of their cognitive abilities, or even just to relieve stress after finishing up a working week. 

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Yet, it’s becoming more and more of an escalating issue that playing video games online, particularly in a PvP environment, is becoming a more and more toxic space to occupy. It’s metamorphosed into a disfigured abomination where the notion of it being “just a game” has become near blasphemy. Every match is played with the attitude of an MLG final, where every single decision, whether right or wrong, is a big deal, nee, the biggest deal, the stakes and outcome being unparalleled in their importance.

It’s spawned an elitist landscape where excessive gaming is a vein of behaviour that’s been normalized to an extent, the need to master every aspect of a game and the requirement to “git gud” (even pushing people to develop gaming addiction in the most severe cases as defined by the World Health Organization) creating online lobbies and games that are saturated with attitudes and language that only serves to afflict people’s mental health negatively.

As stated above, the reason gamers (or at least most gamers anyway) play games is to enjoy video games, and that seems to be diminishing with many video games, more prevalent with new games that are looking to keep people running on the eternal treadmill of gameplay loops, season/battle passes, and mechanics that look to drip-feed incremental chunks of money away from players.

In an aim to combat this epidemic of stressful games, below we’ve compiled some pointers on how to navigate the world of video games online, some choice games that emphasize the aspects of engaging in progressive cooperation over vicious competition, and games that make you realize that the most important thing of all, is to have fun.

Mind Over Matter

VR fight

We’ll start with some physical things you can do that aren’t dependent on any game itself, and don’t even necessarily pertain to video games, but are an all-round list of techniques and actions you can do to reduce stress, that aid people in reducing anxiety, help in reducing and staving off a panic attack, and just generally help people stay calm.

If you feel like you’re declining into a more negative mental state, always try to take deep breaths to combat any hyperventilating. Healthline.com says “If you’re able to control your breathing, you’re less likely to experience the hyperventilating that can make other symptoms — and the panic attack itself — worse… Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a second, and then breathe out for a count of four…”.

Mindfulness is also a huge part of maintaining control over one’s mood when these sorts of situations arise. This basically means to ground and anchor yourself in reality and in your immediate physical space, as often one of the symptoms of slipping into one of these moods or having such an attack is detachment from reality.

Touch things you can see, take note of what you can smell and hear, and acknowledge the sensations that have your peripheral attention. All of these tactile things provide points of focus and by proxy a distraction that assists in stopping anxious thoughts or negative thinking.

To see Healthline’s full list of how to stop a panic attack, you can check it out here.

Friends and Communities

Playing with your friends is always a better experience than playing alone when it comes to an online game, and the more usually equals the merrier when it comes to interactive entertainment. However, there might be the case where there aren’t that many games you and your buddies have in common, and your video game tastes may differ, and there’s nothing wrong with that of course.

You may want to find new relationships and become a part of a new community of players on the games you already own, but doing this may prove a challenge if you don’t know where to start or aren’t confident in meeting new people (speaking as an introvert, I know the struggles of this).

Many individual game websites have their own forums for arranging gaming sessions, but for a broader reach, I personally recommend using the free sites TrueAchievements for Xbox players, and PSTrophies for Sony gamers, TrueSteamAchievements for PC guys and girls, and NintendoLife forums for any Switch users.

While these sites have their primary function of arranging times and dates for people to coalesce to earn each console/system’s proprietary reward scheme of trophies, achievements, what have you, they extend beyond this one point and also provide players with the ability to create sessions just for fun.

playing with friends

You can say how many players you’re looking for, what types of things you want to do, and you can remove any elements of time pressure or the need to get a certain amount of wins or anything like that.

You can just make a simple, low-stress space where people can just come to chill out and have fun. I’m a user of some of these sites and from my experiences, most people if not all of them are pleasant individuals.

Seek Help From Gaming Professionals

Look for gaming professionals specializing in helping gamers with anxiety and related issues. These professionals may include psychologists, counsellors, or therapists with expertise in gaming-related concerns. This multidisciplinary approach can help rule out the root cause of anxiety and implement an effective intervention plan. You can ask for recommendations from reputable gaming communities. 

Ensure that the professional you choose has the qualifications and experience in dealing with mental health issues, especially gaming-related ones. Commit to the treatment plan recommended by the professional. This may involve attending regular therapy sessions, practising techniques learned in therapy, and making necessary lifestyle changes. 

Additionally, game-boosting services, like Kboosting.com, can reduce video game anxiety. They can help players achieve in-game goals and rankings more efficiently, reducing frustration and anxiety associated with slow progress or underperformance. Additionally, these services can save time for players with limited time by accomplishing tasks that would otherwise require a significant investment. 

But you shouldn’t rely everything on game boosters. To effectively reduce video game anxiety, players should also focus on skill development, set realistic goals, take breaks to prevent burnout, engage in other activities, and consider seeking professional help if the anxiety is severe and affecting daily life. 

The Discourse of Discord

An amazing tool that plays sort of in tandem with the above is the brilliant app of Discord.

A common issue (and sometimes the worst thing of all) for a lot of people playing online in the realm of video games is voice chat and having to physically speak to other people in real-time. The vast majority of the time the people on your team, in your lobby, or roaming around the open world are perfectly amicable, but this still generates stress and anxiety for people when it comes to speaking to them, and it manifests itself as a surprisingly real threat for some.

That’s why I think Discord is just a fantastic aid when it comes to exploring video games online when you’re not quite familiar with the digital terrain or maybe have gotten into a game a bit late and need some help on how to get started.

For those that don’t know, Discord is a chat app where you can communicate with both messages and voice, join and create servers, and build a real online community.

You could potentially add in your Discord server and/or friend details when setting up a gaming session on one of the aforementioned sites, or you can explore existing servers by using the “Explore” option on the sidebar and then searching for your relevant game.

You can also specify how you want to communicate with others, so if you want to stick to text comms until you know people better, that’s completely up to you. You have the control, you play the game your way, and Discord only helps with that.

Freedom to Play

In accordance with the theme of this post being on playing video games in the most relaxing ways possible and reducing the element of gaming anxiety, we thought we’d recommend a video game or two you can play online that is about enjoyment above all else.

My first personal recommendation is the delightfully charming Switch game, Animal Crossing: New Horizons. The game oozes a chilled vibe that only serves to put you at ease, with the relaxing music being one of the biggest components in creating this serene atmosphere (12PM Rain being my number one relaxing melody).

freedddoooooom!

You can visit people’s islands as much or as little as you want, and open up your own island to visitors to venture in. The “story” is very loose and the real focus is to build your character a happy life on your island, with the multiplayer being an interactive continuation of your solo exploits rather than a separate endeavour.

Check out this Facebook Group and this Reddit thread for exchanging Friend Codes so people can come and visit you and vice versa.

Another gem to play is the incredibly deep RPG and farming simulator, Stardew Valley (a game my girlfriend has gotten very much into).

You can help out as a farmhand or get some assistance on your crops and for your livestock or get a squad together for some quests into the mines.

And while it’s a tad redundant at this point to mention it, Minecraft is another great place for relaxed sessions when it comes to chilled online video games to play. 

Well, those are our tips. I hope they prove at least somewhat useful and/or helpful in your journey for a peaceful and pleasant online experience.

Jim Devereaux
Jim Devereaux
Editor-In-Chief. Has contributed gaming articles to a variety of publications and produced the award-winning TV show Bored Gamers (Amazon Prime). He loves racing games, classic LucasArts adventures and building new PC gaming rigs whenever he can afford it.
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