Hey gamers, Nerdy Dwarf here. Pissed off by that unnecessarily long title?

Well, this game had an unnecessarily long wait time. This is not a ballad to an unsung hero, nor is this an epic telling of a surprising revelation in the gaming world. This is sheer stupidity.

All those internet memes about internet explorer being a few years late haven’t got anything on Sega. 8 years Sega. 8 FREAKING YEARS! Sorry did you literally forget about the other 90% of the world? Seriously there is a reason why you’re not exactly breaking any records anymore and this may have something to do with it.

Even at the launch of the beta – which may I add was a disaster, locking a game to one region then your exciting beta announcement is to lock it, again, to America and Canada exclusively? – even Sega were shocked people actually wanted to play it, which explains the log on issue “higher than anticipated number of players” (I know, more than 2 people were excited, shocking right?).

Who wouldn’t want to queue up to play something released over 8 years ago on PC before finally, just at the end of this gaming generation, coming to the rest of the world.

But here’s the problem, it’s not a bad game. At all to be honest. It has got every element of a core MMOJRPG required, from the beautiful soundtrack to vast and gorgeous locations, funky character design that look like space elves that are either way too young to be carrying a weapon or way to big breasted to be swinging that sword effectively. You know, typical Japanese questionable stuff that we have learnt to accept.

I know how it feels to be let down by a games company, I preordered Saints Row 4, don’t talk to me about disappointment.

Let’s take a moment here to think – did anyone play Phantasy Star Universe on the Xbox 360? That game was amazing, perfect. A remake of that would be excellent. This is close, just close enough to be enjoyable, but not quite there.

Sort of like going to the shop for Sunny-D and coming home with Capri-sun. Yeah, it’s good, and vaguely the same kind of thing, but it’s different, and you can’t help but wonder how good it would’ve been to actually get what you wanted. Not going to lie to you, I feel like I am wasting my time, this game was last reviewed for awards in 2015, with about 4 million players. I can’t imagine it still has that many.

I love phantasy star, I really do. It has always been my favourite universe for an RPG, and, trigger warning, it’s better than final fantasy. Don’t whinge about it, it’s true, grow up. While it can’t compete against the perfect FF7 or the cringe worthy yet masterpiece FFX, the universe as a whole works better, and makes sense, don’t @ me.

Sega were sitting on a gold mine. An F2P MMO – free, massively multiplayer, Japanese role-playing game, and actually good *cough* onigiri *cough cough*? Where did they go wrong?

Well, let’s start by changing what this article is all about. New title time:


That’s better. To be perfectly honest, they didn’t do anything wrong. It’s purely the timing. The game is awesome. Its smooth, it looks beautiful, character customisation is on point and the confusing mass of pop-ups and events gets easier to deal with after some time.

I’ts more the fact there is no discovery.

One of the key elements to a MMO is the fact players will band together to take down a particularly difficult boss, or help to find this rare or hidden item. When you’ve brought your game out over 8 years ago, well, all discovery and joy of teambuilding has now been replaced by Google. Sure enough there will be some people or even some quests about people who cannot find their way still and will need an extra hand, but for the most of it there will be maps and walkthrough to show people where to go, or what a bosses particular weak spot may be.

There is also the player base, PC players have had access for years, and so far it seems like this is Xbox only, as no news of a western port on PlayStation, even though the PlayStation version exists in Japan, obviously.

No worries about preordering, I mean, its free. But there is a premium currency you can get, honestly guys, I’d say play it, it’s a beautiful game, but don’t buy the game. I’m not sure if they genuinely want to give back to the western world, or are trying to recover from the original Sonic The Hedgehog movie trailer, but at this point they’re beating a dead horse.

Now, a PSU2, yes, I’d say shut up and take my meseta, but, there isn’t. I don’t want to hear “but it’s the same thing!” it isn’t. Go grab a disc of universe for the 360, play it, then tell me this is the same. Peasants.

All in all, I’m not disappointed, not even mad. Just let down, I would’ve been excited for this a long time ago, it’s a fantastic game, but with things such as Elder Scrolls Online, Sky Forge, Dauntless, Warframe, just so many online role playing games on console now, a new one seems like a waste of time and effort, especially if it doesn’t bring anything new to the table.

I know how it feels to be let down by a games company, I preordered Saints Row 4, don’t talk to me about disappointment. And that’s all this is. It’s a fantastic game, just a little too late. I’m not angry at you Sega, I’m just disappointed.

Phantasy Star Online 2 will be coming out in the western world fairly soon, as a free to play model, but honestly, if you really want to get it and don’t have a PC keep your eyes peeled, literally everything you would want to know got uploaded to YouTube years ago.

Putting the controller down, anime sounding music in the background from the title screen, as the closed beta comes to an end, this is a disappointed dwarf.

George Shine (@DwarfsDigs)

Recommended (8 years ago)
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George Shine
Senior Contributor. Known as A Nerdy Dwarf, gaming since getting a SEGA Mega Drive age 5. Fan of Warhammer, Silent Hill and Avenged Sevenfold and all-round gamer Dad.